The reality of walking a path of true and deep healing

Avoiding your pain is avoiding your pleasure.This is a lesson that I have learned and was recently reminded of as it was the the theme of one of the classes on the Aligned Living Membership. This does not mean that there can be no pleasure without pain, but rather that if we choose to avoid parts that hold guilt, shame, regret, sadness, or anger—are we truly conscious of the parts we might be missing that hold our confidence, abundance, pleasure, and joy?

I do not have a definitive answer to this, but what I do know is that when I shine a light into the dark, forgotten, and neglected places within me, it ripples a new kind of freedom through those spaces. The light and awareness illuminate these things that have a hold over us, our thoughts, our beliefs, and ultimately how we choose to show up in this world.

Chasing pleasure is, of course, different from finding true happiness, and the “live, laugh, love” movement spreads misinformation about the reality of walking a path of true and deep healing. This is what I teach especially during my Women’s Silent Retreats, is that healing is not always pretty but it is always worth it.

There is, of course, always the danger of going to extremes, and what I often see is people becoming obsessed with personal growth, development, and “improving” themselves. In the wellness world, there is a lot of pressure to be doing your “best” at all times. To be “magnetic” and “abundant”… I see how spiritual coaches are selling their courses, all with the intention of promising you a seven-figure business… There is a hype around being a “high vibe” person, and somehow a lot of this messaging and advice seems, to me at least, to be a bit of spiritual bypassing…

I think it is problematic to be “doing the work” with the intention of making more money, growing your status or following, and that there are people promising that they have all the answers. I don’t think that any human does. This is not me saying that money can’t be fun and a joy, or that growing a larger community is egotistic, but I find myself questioning more and more the intention behind a lot of “healers” work.

One of my favorite sayings is: “As within, so without” and with all the studies these days, we are seeing more and more how capable we are of creating the lives we want, manifesting, and conjuring up incredible new realities. The sky really is the limit. I question, though, the harm that some of the repetitive and one-track-minded pieces of advice can be on those who are only just starting the process or those who hold unprocessed trauma in their bodies.

I recently went through a difficult and traumatizing time, which in turn tends to go and fetch all the old trauma that still sits in the body… I felt stuck in my nervous system, unable to be creative, and my mental health taking a serious knock. My self-confidence was knocked down, my trust with myself broken, and I felt very alone…

The advice that I received varied from “go back on your meds” to “get a coach” and even “if you don’t get it together you’re going to be left behind.” Even though there is partial truth to some of the advice given, I have learned one very important lesson: In the end, it’s YOU and YOU, baby. At the end of your life, you will be the one looking back, and only YOU will be able to take accountability for the path you have walked. So make your own decisions, and if you make a mistake, it is your mistake to make and your lesson to learn.

It is okay to be exactly where you are right now. It is okay to feel shitty some days. It is okay to feel overwhelmed. It is okay to simply be you and to know that your best is good enough. It is also okay to not be your “best” every second of every day. You are HUMAN! There is so much power in all the new-age spiritual practices, but if we look back on tradition to the age old spiritual practices, the intentions were to heal. To heal ourselves and to create unity and peace between our human experience and our spiritual existence. Every decade or so, there is a new trend—a new manifestation technique, a new breathwork technique, a new promise on how to become successful… and then the new trends come again… How are we supposed to keep up? Well, we aren’t.. In the end, what works for you might not work for me, and that is the beauty of us being individuals.

What would the world look like if our values were as important as our goals?

What would life feel like if we took the pressure off to perform and allowed ourselves to be truly seen for who we are, even if at times it’s messy?

What would change if we started to serve others more than we serve ourselves?

What if we valued our time here, more than the things we own?

I am not a doctor or a professor, and I don’t claim to have any answers… But speaking out of experience, my advice is the following:

• Treat yourself with kindness
• Strengthen your mind and your body
• Pray every day
• Tune into your intuition
• Practice gratitude
• Be of service to those around you
• Spend time in nature
• Create to your heart’s desire
• Rest regularly
• Honor your truth and boundaries
• Stop judging others and keep your energy for yourself
• Love yourself unconditionally
• Accept that everything is temporary

In my upcoming course: Mediation for HER: A meditation and mindfulness course we look at important aspects of being human, of being woman and how meditation can bring us closer to ourselves and our authenticity. If this post spoke to you I invite you to join me!

You’ll emerge from this 4 week experience feeling deeply in tune with yourself, filled with self-love, and equipped with tools for ongoing personal growth. You’ll comfortably manage a 30-minute meditation practice and feel empowered by your own efforts and choices. This journey will transform you from a version of yourself that you’ve needed until now to a new, more authentic, aligned, and happier self. You’ll release old beliefs that have held you back, allowing you to tap into your innate wisdom and freely express your truth.

Learn more and pre-register here: Meditation for HER

Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
I see you, I value you.
Kath – Founder and Creator of the Aligned Living Podcast

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